From the Beginning

Todd was born on November 21, 1968 in Falls Church, Virginia.  He was a beautiful little guy with tons of dark, dark brown hair.  He was a happy baby and a delight to his parents and grandparents.  Todd's dad traveled extensively and was out of the country for 8-10 weeks at a time.  Todd was my constant companion.  Often, I held him for his entire nap.  He loved to be held and snuggled with his face tucked in my neck. 

We moved from the Washington, D.C. area to Grand Rapids, Michigan when Todd was 2 1/2.  By then he had a baby sister, Stephanie.  Almost from the beginning, Todd and his sister were best friends.  Of course they fought like every other brother and sister but he was very protective of her.  When Todd was in 2nd grade, we moved to Troy, Michigan (a suburb of Detroit). 

Todd had a very normal childhood.  He started kindergarten when he was 6.  Being a late November baby, we were advised that waiting the extra year before starting school would help with his social development.  He participated in cub scouts, played tee ball, soccer and tennis and excelled at swimming.  When he graduated from high school, he went away to college at Central Michigan University. 

We always said Todd was like a cat with nine lives.  He had several mishaps that could have been very, very serious.  As an infant, he slipped out of his high chair and landed on the kitchen floor.  Our house was built on a concrete slab so landing on the floor was a major concern.  He was checked out by his pediatrician and given a clean bill of health.  When he was a little over 1 yr of age, he was crawling behind me when a 2L bottle of coke (then in glass bottles) fell over and hit the metal closet track.  The bottle exploded and imbedded itself in the wall behind me.  How it missed Todd was a miracle! 

At 3 years of age, Todd flipped his Big Wheel over and landed on the back of his head on the driveway.  He suffered a mild concussion.  Then, when Todd was 5, we were visiting friends who had an inground swimming pool.  The adults were all standing around having cocktails when our friend's son, John, asked if Todd was supposed to be sitting on the bottom of the pool. Sunglasses, shoes, billfolds, etc. went flying as Todd's dad and our friends jumped in the pool to pull Todd out.  The very next morning, I signed him up for swimming lessons through the Y. 

As a young teen, Todd and his dad went on a fishing trip to Sugar Island in northern Michigan with a bunch of other fathers and sons.  Todd and our friend's son, John (again), flipped the small boat they were using and the boys ended up hanging onto the hull in the middle of the St. Mary's River which is fed by Lake Superior.  Talk about cold!!  The boys were rescued by a passing fisherman. 

Todd's major and minor at Central Michigan University was cartography and geography.  After 5 years, he still had not graduated and we finally pulled the plug on the money.  During summer breaks from school, he had worked with a friend, Eric, in construction so when he left Central, he continued working with Eric.

Probably during Todd's time at Central, his life started to disintegrate.  Looking back, I think I knew something was seriously wrong but not being much of a drinker myself I overlooked the signs and figured he was doing what many, many other kids his age were doing.  I was blind and perhaps afraid to face the facts.  As a freshman at Central, Todd was already 18 and our chance of controlling his behavior had passed us by.

More to come....

For those who are following my blog, please feel free to pass this on to anyone who you think might be interested.  My hope is that my journey and Todd's life can be of some benefit to others, particularly someone who might be walking in our shoes (his and mine).