It's been a couple months since I've added anything to my blog. The holidays are finally over. I find the holidays very difficult to get through and am always grateful when they finally end. I honestly don't know why they're difficult because Todd really hated Christmas. He disliked having to fulfill family obligations such as Christmas eve dinner with the family and having to "report" to Mom and Dad's house by 9 am on Christmas morning to open gifts. I don't remember when things changed and he became so out of sorts. As a young boy and an early teenager, he was always excited about Christmas. Suddenly, the joy and happiness was gone.
I'm an extremely generous person and I take great joy in giving to others. I've always gone out of my way to make Christmas a special time and usually bought more presents that anyone could ever hope for or expect. My husband has always accused me of trying to "buy" love and in Todd's case, as I reflect back, I believe he was probably right. I was always looking for ways to bring back the happy, joyful Todd. I have always loved Todd with every ounce of my being and was continually grasping for ways to reconnect with him.
For years before I truly realized there was a problem, I always worried about Todd's drinking. He was living away from home and almost never called home to say "hi" or check on his family. He rarely returned our calls and when we did get in touch with him, he had one excuse after another as to why he hadn't called back. He was involved in a serious relationship with a girl and when they would come over for dinner, it was apparent from the smell that he had been drinking before he got to our house. Todd's girlfriend didn't like me so I figured some of Todd's behaviors were related to her reluctance to be around me.
A year or two into the relationship, Todd's girlfriend broke up with him and asked him to move out of her house. Todd found a small house to buy (unfortunately, just down the street from the ex-girlfriend) and we helped him out with the down payment. Because we were always wondering how he was and where he was, both of us would periodically drive by the house just to "check" on him. We made it a point, though, of not stopping in without being invited. Todd was working regularly and seemed to be doing alright. I do remember his Dad talking to him about the piles of beer cans outside his back door and how it must look to his neighbors.
About this time, Todd's boss, Eric, moved into Todd's spare bedroom because he was going through a divorce and needed a place to stay temporarily. While Eric was living there, we went to California for a conference and some sightseeing around Monterey and San Francisco. We were in the airport in Minneapolis changing planes when we received an overhead page to go to a house phone. Our nephew had tracked us down to let us know that Todd was in the hospital in Michigan and had no clue who anybody was or where he was. He assured us he was stable, that his sister was with him and he had made arrangements with the hospital for us to get in to see him after visiting hours on our return to Detroit.
We arrived at the hospital around 11 pm. Todd appeared slightly worse for wear (abrasions everywhere) but was happily watching Monday night football as his sister slept in the chair next to his bed. Apparently, Eric had come home to find Todd passed out on the floor and blood was everywhere. Eric called Todd's sister, loaded Todd in the car and drove him to the hospital. He was complaining of a severe headache and his blood pressure was around 200/120. After a CT scan, spinal tap and a full battery of tests, his diagnosis was 'atypical migraine'. Thirty-six hours later, we arrived at ths hospital. Todd's sister had not left his side because he had no recall of what happened or where he was and his short-term memory was completely gone.
When we returned to the hospital the next morning, Todd had no memory that we had been there the night before. He was being discharged and instructed to follow-up with his primary care physician. Todd's memory loss continued for another 2 to 3 days.
This episode was the start of many painful events.
